Is Al-Anon For Me?

Al-Anon is for families, relatives and friends whose lives have been affected by someone else’s drinking. Many adults question whether they have been affected by alcoholism. If someone close to you has, or has had a drinking problem, the following questions may help you in determining whether alcoholism affected your childhood or present life, and if Al-Anon is for you.

Do you need Al-Anon? If you answer yes to any of these questions, Al-Anon or Alateen may be able to help you. You can find meetings in Northern Illinois by calling one of the telephone answering services or by using this site to find a meeting.

Does Someone’s Drinking Bother You?

    1. Do you worry about how much someone else’s drinking?
    2. Do you have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
    3. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking?
    4. Do you feel if the drinker loved you, he or she would stop drinking to please you?
    5. Do you blame the drinker’s behavior on his or her companions?
    6. Are plans frequently upset or canceled or meals delayed because of the drinker?
    7. Do you make threats, such as, “If you don’t stop drinking, I’ll leave you”?
    8. Do you secretly try to smell the drinker’s breath?
    9. Are you afraid to upset someone for fear it will set off a drinking bout?
    10. Have you been hurt or embarrassed by a drinker’s behavior?
    11. Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking?
    12. Have you considered calling the police for help in fear of abuse?
    13. Do you search for hidden alcohol?
    14. Do you often ride in a car with a driver who has been drinking?
    15. Have you refused social invitations out of fear or anxiety?
    16. Do you sometimes feel like a failure when you think of the lengths you have gone to in order to control the drinker?
    17. Do you think that if the drinker stopped drinking, your other problems would be solved?
    18. Do you ever threaten to hurt yourself to scare the drinker?
    19. Do you feel angry, confused or depressed most of the time?
    20. Do you feel there is no one who understands your problems?

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Are You an Adult Who Grew Up with a Problem Drinker?

    1. Do you constantly seek approval and affirmation?
    2. Do you fail to recognize your accomplishments?
    3. Do you fear criticism?
    4. Do you over extend yourself?
    5. Have you had problems with your own compulsive behavior?
    6. Do you have a need for perfection?
    7. Are you uneasy when your life is going smoothly, continually anticipating problems?
    8. Do you feel more alive in the midst of a crisis?
    9. Do you still feel responsible for others, as you did for the problem drinker in your life?
    10. Do you care for others easily, yet find it difficult to care for yourself?
    11. Do you isolate yourself from other people?
    12. Do you respond with fear to authority figures and angry people?
    13. Do you feel that individuals and society in general are taking advantage of you?
    14. Do you have trouble with intimate relationships?
    15. Do you confuse pity with love, as you did with the problem drinker?
    16. Do you attract and/or seek people who tend to be compulsive and abusive?
    17. Do you cling to relationships because you are afraid of being alone?
    18. Do you mistrust your own feelings and the feelings expressed by others?
    19. Do you find it difficult to identify and express your emotions?
    20. Do you think parental drinking may have affected you?

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Are You Growing up in a Family with Drinking? (Is Alateen for you?)

    1. Do you believe no one could possibly understand how you feel?
    2. Do you cover up your real feelings by pretending you don’t care?
    3. Do you feel nobody really loves you or cares what happens to you?
    4. Do you tell lies to cover up for someone else’s drinking or what’s happening in your home?
    5. Do you stay out of the house as much as possible because you hate it there?
    6. Are you afraid or embarrassed to bring your friends home?
    7. Has someone’s drinking upset you?
    8. Are holidays and gatherings spoiled because of drinking or others’ reactions to the drinking?
    9. Are you afraid to speak up sometimes for fear it will set off a drinking bout or start another fight?
    10. Do you think the drinker’s behavior is caused by you, other members of your family, friends, or rotten breaks in life?
    11. Do you make threats such as, “If you don’t stop drinking and fighting, I’ll run away”?
    12. Do you make promises about behavior, such as, “I’ll get better grades,” “go to church,” or “keep my room clean” in exchange for a promise that the drinking and fighting stop?
    13. Do you feel that if your mom or dad loved you, she or he would stop drinking?
    14. Do you ever threaten or actually hurt yourself to scare your parents into saying “I’m sorry,” or “I love you”?
    15. Do you or your family have money problems because of someone else’s drinking?
    16. Are mealtimes frequently stressful or delayed because of drinking or fighting?
    17. Have you considered calling the police because of the abusive behavior in your home?
    18. Have you refused dates because your date may find out about the drinking or fighting?
    19. Do you think your problems would be solved if the drinking stopped?
    20. Do you ever treat people (teachers, schoolmates, teammates, etc.) unjustly because you are angry at someone else for drinking too much?

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